Most Beautiful Moment in Life: My Mother's Marriage

My mom is a very private lady (as is the rest of my family), so it took a deal of persuasion to get her to allow a photo and interview. I asked her about a beautiful moment in her lifetime. Her first answer was seeing the faces of her kids. The second thing she shared was her wedding with my father decades ago.

"We had been planning to get married for what seemed like a very long time, and when the time came, it was a beautiful moment for me. "

"How did you two meet?"

"I met him when he was in the Philippines in 1983 when he was part of a summer service team from the U.S. They worked with the street children in Manila."

"What was your first impression of dad?"

"I thought he wasn't really worth a second look. At the time, I thought I would never marry a foreigner."

"How did you grow close?"

"When he finally moved into the apartment next to mine and we became neighbors.  We started talking and became friends and that's the beginning."

"How did you become friends? Was there a common interest?"

"Well, his office worked along our office, so we talked about the neighborhood and ministries. I was twenty-six. He was twenty-eight."

"How did you start dating?"

"First I invited him to come to our church. It was like a men's Sunday, so I invited him to come as a visitor. Then he introduced me to Pizza Hut. It was my first time trying pizza."

"How did he propose?"

"He proposed on Christmas Eve, asking if I would like to be his wife. I didn't say yes at first. I told him it depended of if his parents approved of our relationship first. If not, I said 'It doesn't matter how much I love you. If your parents are against this, I can't marry you."

"How long did it take to get approval?"

"Well, we had to wait for the letters to arrive. Maybe about a week or two. I wanted it to be in the physical form of a letter."

"What was your wedding like?"

"Oh, it was long I guess. It was a normal Filipino wedding. My brother, who was supposed to 'give me away' did not arrive on time because the vehicle he was riding in broke down on the way to the wedding. So, I just grabbed one of my officemates and said 'Hey! Give me away.'"

"So how was it a 'typical Filipino wedding?'"

"Well it was long, about an hour. The pastor preached. There was some special music, a message, an exchange of vows. The rituals were long. I know here in the U.S., it's like fifteen minutes, but Filipino ceremonies take more time."

"What was one of the rituals?"

"One of the bridesmaids and groomsmen will tie a cord around you, symbolizes that you will be together as one. They also put a veil on you, which meant that you would live together under one roof."

"What did the venue look like?"

"Beautiful. The church was decorated with tons of daisies. My coworkers decorated it for us. I had never seen the church before then either. It was sic o'clock in the evening on a hot Saturday, October 17."

"Did anything go wrong?"

"Well, apart from the whole van of people not being able to come until later, it was okay. Pretty typical."

"What was your favorite part?"

"When it was over. I was exhausted."

"And how long have you been together now?"

"Twenty-eight years, and counting."

July 2015

7 Things to do this October

October is the peak of autumn with changing leaves, a chilly breeze, and spooky charisma. Don't forget to do these 7 crucial things!

1) Carve some sp00ky pumpkins

Go beyond the generic face pumpkins and create a true masterpiece. Get creative and carve some dank memes, your favorite fictional character, whatever the heart calls for. This year I'm planning on a Ron Swanson pumpkin (stencil here) and my friend Joyce is recreating her yaoi face masterpiece from last year. When carving, try cutting from the bottom rather than the top before hollowing out your pumpkin. Also, if you're putting a tea candle in your artistic gourd, which you should, sprinkle some cinnamon inside.

2) Have a movie night

Bring back the old Halloween classics after carving your pumpkins for maximum sp00ky. What my friends and I do is watch something Chinese/Taiwanese (I'm not sure why). Last year we watched Jay Chou's "Secret", my favorite cheesy romance. This year we'll be watching Jun from Korean group Seventeen's Chinese vampire web drama. I've heard it's pretty awful, so perhaps I can cry from laughter rather this year rather than the sobbing mess "Secret" reduces me to. 

3) Go stargazing

Grab some blankets and people you tolerate for a chill night of stargazing. Drive a little out of town and bring music. Constellations to look out for in the northern hemisphere include Andromeda, Aquarius, Capricornus, Pegasus, and Pisces. Year-round constellations like Cassiopeia, Cepheus, Draco, and Ursa Major&Minor will be present as well. Google Sky Map is an incredibly useful and free app for finding constellations and planets. 10/10 would recommend. 

4) Notice all the ladybugs

Before everything freezes for the winter, there are hoards of cute little ladybugs everywhere. If you're into photography, try taking some macro shots. Ladybugs are surprisingly interesting subjects. If you're not a photo pro, you should still observe them from time to time. What can I say? They're adorable.

5) Have a bonfire (or multiple bonfires)

Roast some marshmallows for smores. Roast some hotdogs. Roast your friends with some sick bars.

6) Enjoy the atmosphere

Take a moment to get comfortable and just cherish the atmosphere of falling leaves, soft rustling wind, etc. There's a distinct sense of melancholy and/or nostalgia each October.

7) Take pictures (especially with friends)

Autumn colors make gorgeous portraits and scenic shots. The magic hours at sunrise and sunset provide optimal lighting, just be ready for potential cold.

Photography and Me

I'm known by my family and friends for continuously changing interests. From drawing to painting, painting to crocheting, crocheting to knitting, knitting to jewelry-making, jewelry-making back to painting, painting to polymer clay, polymer clay to graphic design etc. It didn't take me to long to transition from one investment to the next. The only consistent hobbies of mine have been dance and photography.

Since I was young, cameras had been intriguing to me. When my mom would give me a disposable camera to take pictures on a field trip, it was the same sensation that my peers experienced when given candy. Rather than play games, I was much more interested in freezing the action in film.

Unfortunately for my mom, I would also borrow her digital camera in 2nd-4th grade. The device was a small brick-ish prism that had an amazing video recording function. It could only shoot 30 seconds of 240p footage. The pathetic brick was the key to Youtube fame, my mini dream in elemtary school.

 My first digital camera was a Nikon Coolpix s220, a birthday present at the gate of pre-adolescence. It was a pristine shade of aqua and could fit in my pocket. I mostly took pictures of my pet birds and my friends (things most important to me). When I felt especially edgy, I would lock the door to my room, wear my most lovely plaid blouse and bleach white jeans, and take super high fashion photos. It was pretty professional stuff.

As I grew older, I took greater notice in the details of my surroundings. Frosted spider webs hiding under the patio and raindrop-adorned flowers caught my attention. My compact camera just wasn't good enough anymore. I wanted art. After some web research, I created a birthday proposal for a new, better camera. The Fujifilm Finepix s6800 was the bridge camera for me. I want to be able to not only capture sights, but also preserve and portray feeling. From 2014 to 2015, my bridge camera was a tool in investigating macro, shutter speeds, aperture, etc. My passion for photography was born. I even eventually gathered enough confidence to post an image on Instagram. It was a big deal for me to let others see something I was serious about. By the summer of 2015, I was ready for something more advanced.

If getting the $160 Fujifilm camera was a heavy request, asking for financial aid in obtaining a Nikon D3300 was huge. It took months to convince my dad that my ability had outgrown the camera I already had. Eventually I did get it, and it definitely paid to invest. The photos were clearer, the colors were actually nice instead of being abrasive to the eyes or dull (pre-editing), and the was actual subject isolation. It was amazing. With the new camera, I had actual options outside of macro photography (due to the fujifilm's small sensor). Even with macro photography, the DSLR did it at least 600x better, of course.

The first picture I took with the D3300. That's its box on my brother's head. Pretty great night.

Now, photography is almost a need, a fix. If I don't take pictures for a long period, I feel awful. Through a camera, things are just so much more beautiful. Photography also gave me the ability to share thoughts, feelings, and sights. Not only could I share, but I also received reward through comments on my flickr. A post on my tumblr also became pretty popular (788 notes!). Not only did I feel more confident, but my friends also beautiful through portraits I took of them. Overall, photography allows me to see, share, and even create beauty. The ability to capture memories is another huge thing to me. I hope to be able to look back decades from now at moments in high quality. Though I still jump around other hobbies, taking and editing photos created a home for itself - it's staying. 

Hokusai: My Favorite Prints

The Great Wave off Kanagawa Katsushika Hokusai

Hokusai was an incredibly versatile artist of Edo Japan. Most famous for his woodblock prints, Hokusai's works were not only recognized in Japan, but contributed greatly to the Japonisme trend of France, which influenced French Impressionists as well. The Great Wave off Kanagawa  from his Thirty-six Views of Mount Fuji series is his most famous work worldwide today. Most people have seen the crisp print today as wallpapers and sample images or as decoration elsewhere. Hokusai produced countless other works until his very last days. I'll share some of my favorites here.

Watermill at Onden

The crossing lines of the waterwheel create an interesting arrangement and the intricate swirls of water beautifully portray movement. 

Nihonbashi Bridge in Edo

Hokusai's use of linear perspective is gorgeous in Nihonbashi Bridge in Edo.

Whaling at Goto

The enormity of the whale surrounded by the several boats is cool, especially from the point of view of a distant hill.

Asakusa Honganji Temple in the Eastern Capital

The structure in the right side of the print creates interesting perspective and the rounded lines are an interesting stylization. 

Climbing on Mount Fuji

The use of the salmon hue to color the mountain is whimsical and creative. 

Ejiri in the Suruga Province

The diagonal line created by flying papers and a hat is dynamic and establishes movement within the print. 

Lake Suwa in the Shinano Province

Rich blues and pinks create beauty in this print and are included in Hokusai's trademark sky gradient.

Fishing by Torchlight in Kai Province

Fishing by Torchlight is a departure from Hokusai's usual sunrise/sunset settings with a scene that's fully at night. The golden tones truly capture the illumination of torchlight in the dark.

"I Have No Hometown" Lyrics Annotation

Hyukoh is a South Korean indie band that only continues to rise in popularity. The members are Oh Hyuk (singer and rhythm guitar), Lim Hyunjae (lead guitar), Im Dongun (bass), and Lee Inwoo (drums). My favorite song of theirs is "I Have No Hometown" from their 2014 album 20. It's a track that one under the weight of depression and nostalgia can relate to. For me personally, it was a source of solace on summer days when I couldn't find the motivation to leave the darkness my room for more than necessities. 

Desolation, isolation that means where I stand
combination of information that means where I've been
Singer Oh Hyuk begins the song with a short summary of what his life is at the moment. He feels alone and empty. His life and experiences are simply a "combination of information".
Discomfort of depression I know well it's ill but anxiety in reality it would never disappear
Depression and anxiety distort thought, perception, everything. When you suffer from either or both, they make themselves comfortable in your life, and you can't help but believe that they will always be there. They become so regular that it's near impossible to imagine life with them.

I know I need to be sure about me and I know I need to stop repeating wandering It's hard, it will always be I'm fully aware of it
Oh Hyuk knows he has to change how he's living. He knows that he needs to break patterns of being lost and just wandering. He's "fully aware" of how difficult it'll be. I wanna have falling endlessly dreams again long for the rough texture of Chinese old bricks wish I could run on the rugged hill of cornfield again I wanna swim in the nostalgia of childhood again
In the chorus stanza, scenes and feelings of childhood surface. The innocent and prolific dreams of a child are longed for. Oh Hyuk's presumed hometown where he spend his young days is described. He remembers even rudimentary sensations, like the "rough texture of Chinese old bricks" and the feeling of running through cornfields.
(lyrics cr,)

"I Have No Hometown" perfectly captures what it's like to feel like you're living in the wrong world in comparison to the environment of childhood, where everything just was how it was and there were no questions to be asked. The endless cycles of mental distortions caused by depression and anxiety are simply but accurately described as well. I've found myself that there's no concept of future with depression, just what I've already experienced, and what I feel now. What I feel now, seems like all there will ever be, so I can't help but choose to think about simpler times instead, like Oh Hyuk.

Live in Your Dreams

Departure of the Winged Ship Vladimir Kush

Believe it or not, living in an Iowan city is not the most exhilarating location. It's landlocked and there's a long drive before you get to see different scenery. By day, it's a mundane life, but when I close my eyes for the night (likely around midnight), I get to live somewhere else, a place that does not exist. The residence of my mind is one where impossible things happen. The setting changes, including towering waterfalls, old cities, impossible paradises. There are scenes of countless glowing gliders in the night sky and slow boat rides through a bog displayed in Hokusai style. Dreams are the relief for a plain life in the living world. 

Dreams have been a source of inspiration since the beginning of humanity. Great movies like Inception have been created about dreaming. Romanticism pulled images from dreams and Surrealism created juxtapositions that attempted to "resolve the previously contradicted conditions of dream and reality," according to famous artist Max Ernst. 

Salvador Dali was known to pull the imagery in his paintings directly from hypnagogic (the stage of falling asleep) scenes. He insisted on recording dreams immediately upon waking. 

“You must seat yourself in a bony armchair, preferably of Spanish style, with your head tilted back and resting on the stretched leather back. Your two hands must hang beyond the arms of the chair, to which your own must be soldered in a supineness of complete relaxation. […]

In this posture, you must hold a heavy key which you will keep suspended, delicately pressed between the extremities of the thumb and forefinger of your left hand. Under the key you will previously have placed a plate upside down on the floor…. The moment the key drops from your fingers, you may be sure that the noise of its fall on the upside down plate will awaken you.” - -Salvador Dali on "slumber with a key" (cr)

The Persistence of Memory Salvador Dali

Romanticism of the late 19th century also incorporated the dream world with "unleashing of imagination, emotions, and nightmares" (Kleiner, Gardner's Art Through the Ages Enhanced Thirteenth Edition). Romanticism countered Neoclassicism and Enlightenment ideas of reason with emotion and freedom in all areas of living including thought, feeling, and action. 

Francisco Goya The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters

Though not everyone dreams consciously or has dreams depict much outside of what they experience in their waking life, those that do should hold on to what they experience. Dreams can provide inspiration and escape. If you're stuck in one place in life, savor dreams of variety. 

Taking a Chance in Hollywood

Hollywood stands as a significant cultural icon with associations of glamour, gamble, and luxury. But how did this come to be?

Hollywood's town plan was first submitted in early 1887 by American rancher Harvey H. Wilcox. The first street was titled Prospect Avenue, later to become Hollywood Boulevard (source). Prospect is synonymous with chance, possibility, promise etc. Thus even before the film-making industry, Hollywood showed representation of possibility.

At the turn of the century, Hollywood experienced the blossoming of film. Originally, Thomas Edison had a strong constrictive grip on the film industry with patents on most cameras, later forming the Motion Picture Patents Company based in New Jersey. Edison regulated who could use his cameras, and for what they could be used for. To escape the weighty consequences of violating Edison's regulations, independent filmmakers fled west to Los Angeles. Because of its ideal and constant sunny climate and creative freedom, Hollywood became the base of entertainment.

With the abundance of media, Hollywood films set trends in fashion and style. For example, the classic glamorous Hollywood look, which I personally love, includes lush waves and a simple. yet high end and/or flamboyant, wardrobe, as well as clean black eyeliner and a red lip. The Hollywood sign on Mount Lee is another example of Hollywood style.

My curiosity began when I noticed references in music. A favorite song of mine is Korean indie artist The Black Skirts' "Hollywood". I discovered it this past summer on Spotify and it soon became a favorite.

"Hollywood" overall exudes a dreamy feeling. The twinkling in the beginning is reminiscent of the 4,000 light bulbs that decked the original Hollywood sign, which created a brilliant display at the fall of dusk. The singing soft singing style and lyrics further depict something other than reality.

I found an English translation here and bolded lines that are really cohesive with the Hollywood theme:

oh, the ground i’m stepping on right now

i feel like it’ll disappear

the moment you let go of my hand

it’ll probably melt away

you live inside of a movie

i watch you

please lower the lights

when i breathe on your smooth, slender neck
my body trembles
that’s how much I like you
you can’t get a stain on your pure heart
so please love me
there’s only the beginning
the end is far away

baby i just don’t know what to say. you were my dream
you were my dream and now it all feels so real. you are real. yea
heavy hugs and light hearted jokes.
quit my day job just to stay up all night with you
we are going to hollywood and never coming back, coming back
maybe we’ll turn to gold

your red hair swayed while you gestured towards me
to tell me not to be scared
i want to hurry up and dive right in
who cares if i burn up
it’ll all crumble away anyway
i won’t go back
leave me here

don’t stop. action, friction live in a fiction baby.
hollywood.

Lines like "quit my day job just to stay up all night with you," "we are going to Hollywood and never coming back," ""you were my dream and now it all feels so real," and "maybe we'll turn to gold" describe throwing everything away in pursuit of living a real dream with a lover.

Another song is "Made in Hollywood" by LANY.

Turn off the lights, come and lay with me Write your name on my hand, just like we're seventeen Hoarse through the blinds, the sun is almost down It's just a matter of time until we run this town Young love, west coast Who cares, who knows Young love, west coast Who cares, who knows Keep it low key, so we rep all black Wear our shades on our nose, 'cause we're cool like that Drive to the beach, kiss me nice and slow Michael Jackson so loud on my radio Young love, west coast Who cares, who knows Young love, west coast Who cares, who knows We'll dream about it Talk-talk about it Won't live without it Made in Hollywood We'll dream about it Talk-talk about it Won't live without it Made in Hollywood Young love, west coast Who cares, who knows Young love, west coast Who cares, who knows We'll dream about it Talk-talk about it Won't live without it Made in Hollywood We'll dream about it Talk-talk about it Won't live without it Made in Hollywood
(lyrics cr)

"Made in Hollywood" is about young love. Like The Black Skirts' "Hollywood", the lyrics here describe chasing chance with an attitude that I can only describe as basically saying "screw it." The attitude of the couple is one of confidence. They feel on top of the world, like they can do anything.