Friendship & Flexibility

Real friendship is most definitely work. More idealistic people would probably argue that a true friendship shouldn't feel like work or a chore, but let me tell you, friendship is effort. It's effort that in the right circumstances, is 100% worth it in the end.

As I've gotten older, human connection and the mechanics of relationships has only seemed to grow more and more complex. I've often felt as if I weren't giving enough, or giving the right sort of thought and effort. How could I get it through to someone that I honestly care about them and cherish them?

I'm busy. My friends are busy. Making plans sometimes proves to be quite a challenge. When proposing possible plans, I've sometimes noticed a sort of tension that emerges as my friends may become visibly anxious as they think about their schedules. The moment I say that this can happen whenever it's possible, despite possibly being pushed back multiple months, the tension dissipates and a relaxed and appreciative smile takes its place. Though flexibility is not an option in select circumstances, it's something that should be exercised as often as possible. I don't mean in action necessarily, but presented as an option. Letting your friend know that you're willing to wait for them to be available, or that you're completely willing to change plans to fit them better displays mindfulness and conveys care. 

Flexibility outside of scheduling is also appreciative. In conflict, indignant stubbornness is nothing outside of damaging. Compromise by both parties is often claimed to be a necessary pieces of a healthy relationship, romantic or platonic. Sometimes, you've either got to meet in the middle, or agree to disagree. 

This probably seems so simple and obvious to some, but honestly, it's common for people to forget to consider others on a deep level. Even if flexibility seems minuscule in act, it's effective.