Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Vincie

Vincie does color guard with me. While on a short break at a football game, I approached her to ask the following question.

 "What was your most beautiful moment?"

She answered, "When I do things out of my comfort zone! That's when I feel the most exhilarated in life."

"Is there a specific event that comes to mind?"

"Um, when I climbed the Great Wall of China to the very very top. I was so sweaty and it was like the best feeling ever."

"Care to elaborate?"

"I climbed until the eighth or ninth tower and it look literally half a day. I was enjoying the scenery and kept asking myself "When am I ever going to reach the top?!? (She actually yelled this part.) I eventually did it."

"How did you feel in the beginning?"

"I thought it was going to be the easiest thing ever because it's like climbing stairs, but, like, nooo!!! (animatedly yelling, again) it took five hours to get to the third tower!"

"What was it like halfway through?"

"I was like 'Can I please give up?' But then I was like 'Ohh, but I'm kind of halfway through, so I"m just gonna finish it."

"Did you ever just want to nonchalantly jump off of it in defeat?" I asked, jokingly, of course.

"Um, yeah! I want to jump off of it since the first tower! I didn't think I would ever make it to the top, but I thought 'Since all these American people can do it, I can do it too!" she was shrieking near the end of that statement. We were both laughing for a few moments afterward.

"Okay, so what was the view like from the top?"

"You could see mountains and scenery for many, many miles. You could see highways and modern features too. It was great."

Last Dinosaurs' "Zoom": Young Observation

When I first came across Last Dinosaurs, it was their quirky name paired with the funky cover of In a Million Years that caught my attention. Who doesn't like dinosaurs? I mean, come on, you can't deny the charm. As I listened to their songs, I could tell they were just as cheeky as their name. Their song "Zoom" really interested me. Its upbeat melody and intentional lyrics were impressive. Upon inspection, I found that the song accurately described the thoughts of any young person caught in a period of reflecting upon their past, but also looking in fear at the future ahead.

Before any singing, "Zoom" introduces itself with the reel of a cassette tape and the first few bits of the song. Songmeanings.com user rfazz15 commented "I really like how the song starts out as a tape being played. It kind of reinforces the idea that the entire album was written in a 'retrospective point of view.' This is a look on past events and it's about coming to terms with them" which I found really clever. It's a subtle detail that's easily overlooked, but neat when you notice it. 

You know you're not the only one
To see the boy that you
Hold very close to you
He's not your kind of guy

The first lines of the song are what the singer wants to say to a girl he admires. He knows that her love interest is seeing other girls, and concludes with his disapproval.

I hope you realize
I have no care for answers
'Cos now you're standing only next to me, Oh Oh
So take me on a tangent
'Cos tangible is something we perceive, Oh Oh

This next part describes simply enjoying the moment with this girl. The singer is with the girl he's taken interest in, and only cares about right there, right then. He's cherishing the moment, relishing her company. I love how he mentions the concept of keeping your mind present and enjoying every second, because I find that not only most people, myself included, are so distracted by past happenings and/or future events, that we miss out on what's happening around us. Not to mention the placement of "'cos" right after "tangent", which plays on the trignometry terms. 

I don't want to be just another
Fighter without fire, nothing to inspire
In a million years when we're older,
Finally we can be part of history

I absolutely adore the chorus. The singer says he doesn't "want to be just another" which is an significant fear when growing older and creating an identity. He doesn't want to be the typical adult, a "fighter without a fire" (someone passionless, living without purpose) with "nothing to inspire." This a person who repeats the same cycle daily, spending their time at a job they don't even enjoy, just going with the motions. I feel this way myself. When thinking about the future and possible careers, it's one of my worst nightmares to live a passionless life. The next line, "in a million years when we're older," captures the young state of mind. As a teenager/young adult, youth feels like it'll last forever and adulthood is incredibly far away, a million years away. I'm reminded of the ironic phrase "Adults suck, then you are one." It's similar in addressing the seeming immortality of adolescence. In reality, one grows up so quickly. Lastly, the line "finally we can be part of history" displays the feeling of not being able to do anything significant until being an adult.

From retrospective points of view,
It's time to reinvent
Don't care to what extent
Subconscious disarray
I want to look away
I'll live for shadow play

When looking back at himself, the singer decides it's time for change, perhaps radical change. He decides to live for "shadow play," ancient storytelling with shadow puppets beind a translucent screen. This can be interpreted as wishing to live for expression.

I can't tell the difference when everyone's pretending to play ball, 
Oh oh
Now I'm all for resistance,
But I can't take it anymore, Oh Oh

"I can't tell the difference when everyone's pretending to play ball" refers to everyone creating a facade to seem unique in order to excel in competition, but instead becoming even less distinguished. The singer wants to avoid this himself, but finds it overwhelming and exhausting to maintain. 

I told you, I tell myself
It's alright, alright, alright

The bridge of "Zoom" is the singer trying to assure himself that everything is okay in the midst of internal chaos. The more confused he feels, the harder he tries to convince himself that everything is fine.

"Zoom" by Last Dinosaurs is overall a comforting song for those scared of living a life without cause. In the distress of youth's transition, it serves as a reminder that it's not a solo experience. 

Most Beautiful Moment in Life (Caleb)

"I remember thinking, 'You know, this is definitely something I want to do for the rest of my life. "

After hearing Mariah share her childhood experience (here), I turned to Caleb and asked him the same question: "What was your more beautiful moment in life?"

His response: "When I felt most beautiful or...?" We all laughed.

"Oh shush. You know what I mean!"

"Okay, okay. I guess it was when I met my little brother for the first time, I was completely speechless. I remember the first time I held him -we were are the hospital- and I was thinking 'This is...so this came out of my mom. (I laugh a little bit.) I didn't want to hold him. I thought I would break him like a toy or something."

"How old were you?" I asked.

"I was five. I still remember this. IT was sunny. It was really sunny out. I remember the sun coming through the hospital room's window. Yeah, and I remember getting a toy airplane from my aunt.  I also remember my grandma getting annoyed with me while I was playing with it and her taking it away..."

He also described his second experience with a fire on duty as a volunteer firefighter.

"It was towards the end of winter, and I was sitting in a radio room looking online and was talking to Savannah...was I dating her or did we just break up? Anyway, she didn't believe me when I said we were on the news from Wednesday night when we had a fire. I was looking it up so I could show her when I heard the radio paging Hiawatha for a structure fire. Like Northwood Court or something like that...ah, wait, Ashworth Court. I yelled 'Fire!' then went to get my bunker gear on and go to the truck. As I was walking to get my bunker gear, pagers start going off. Guys are all running out. There's like ten or twelve of us stationed there at the time, so we were all racing to get on the fire engine. I was the first on in there and started strapping myself in. I put my seat belt on, then a dispatch comes over and says 'Heavy smoke and flame showing.' About that time, my officer gets in and we turn out of the station. The entire time there, I"m thinking, 'You know, I should have went to the bathroom.' (I start laughing.) That's seriously what I was thinking. We're going down Emmons, turn onto Blairs Ferry crossing, then go down, uh, Ashworth Drive, which leads to Ashworth Court. We turn onto Ashworth Court and there's nothing showing, so I'm just like ' okay, guess that was b*******'...oh sorry! (Laughs.) I get out of the truck, I grab my tools, then my officer comes on the radio and says 'We've got fire. We've got fire and smoke in the kitchen.' Troy pulls the line, Kyle goes, backs him up. I grabbed a second set of tools, and Morgan, my partner, pulls second line. Kyle and Troy make entry and as they do, through the garage, fire comes out the top of the doorway. I remember thinking, 'You know, this is definitely something I want to do for the rest of my life. They go, get it pretty well knocked down. They run out of air, and are in there for about twenty minutes. Me and my team go in. I punched holes in the wall, tore out some cabinets, found a little spot fire, and the inside of the refrigerator caught fire. I didn't even know it was a refrigerator because it had melted so much that it looked like a lava lamp, but like frozen! It kind of looked like a snow bank. So much plastic. Then there was burnt milk. Milk literally turned brown in the fridge.  Crazy."

Most Beautiful Moment in Life (Mariah)

"I danced with professional ballet dancers and it was just so beautiful. "

At 9:16 PM, September 20th, in the comforting embrace of a toasty bonfire, I asked my close friend, Mariah, what her most beautiful moment in life has been, thus far. Mariah and I go to the same church and dance studio. She's danced since she could remember, and continues to excel. Her passion for performance can be seen when she's on stage, shining the brightest in the biggest of groups.

"So, what's you most beautiful memory?" I asked.

Mariah took a deep breath, eyes looking up, searching her brain for the right scene before reestablishing eye contact. Her hazel eyes has a definite glimmer.

"So, I guess it would be when I was eight. I auditioned for the Russian Moscow ballet, which was a pretty big deal. They toured the country and they needed kids for their Nutcracker production. So, I auditioned and they didn't call anybody....well, I mean, they didn't call me! (She chuckles.) They called everybody else, until they got to the last role, which was the biggest for my age age group, and me and my friend got it. I mean, we weren't friends then, but we became friends later. Ah, sorry! (We both laugh.) And then, doing it, I danced with professional ballet dancers and it was just so beautiful. I was a Chinese doll, really cool. It was probably the most beautiful thing I've ever done, therefore, my most beautiful moment."

"What about it did you love most?"

"Everything, haha. So what did I love most?"

"Yeah, like in sensory terms, what was the most memorable part of it?"

"Probably when I was onstage. They had, you know, those dragon things with the people in them. So there was people in there going around and I looked back (it was in the choreography,) and then I just see this dragon. I was so amazed by it. Then the dancers in the middle were doing all this crazy dancing stuff. I thought, 'I want to look like that when I'm their age.'"

"So what was the music like at that moment?"

"Um, it was pretty fast. I don't really remember, but I can definitely still do the dance though."

"Where did you perform this?"

"At the Paramount before the flood. It was the last performance before the flood."

"Wow."

Autumn Remedy

Tonight was the beginning of my series of autumn nights. At exactly 8:00 PM, I scurried out my front door, clutching onto the building blocks of a proper bonfire- marshmallows, gram crackers, Hershey's chocolate, a camera, and metal skewers. Though inconveniently planned on a Sunday night, I couldn't help but tune out the cries of my numerous assignments and drive to my buddy Caleb's house. The fire itself was absolutely perfect. Equipped with my loose burgundy sweater, I sat with some of my closest companions in a pocket of warmth and light (a wonderful contrast to the mild 57 degree air). The light breeze carried stories and worries.

It's nights like these that I treasure. When I'm with friends, it's like there's a barrier against my dysthymia and anxieties. I'm pulled out of my typical numbness and the space is filled with companionship. When I can't produce feelings myself, the people I'm with intimately share theirs. The voice that mocks me saying that I'm insignificant to all that I encounter is hushed. Its claims of isolation are temporarily proven wrong. I'm resurrected, alive.

There's something special about sitting in a circle for hours, physically doing nothing,  yet having so much enjoyment solely because of the love of the people around you. It's ironic, really. There's more excitement in staring at a flame and conversing than in an eight hour school day, where I just come home dead. I know that the raw secrets I learn at night will outlive the equations I memorize on weekday mornings. On Monday morning, I'll yet again wake with dread, but the scent of smoke that lingers on my skin will promise me that everything I felt the previous night was real, is real, and that will fuel me until next Friday.