Comparison

Nocturne in Black and Gold - The Falling Rocket James Abbot McNeill Whistler

"Comparison will kill you" is an incredibly common phrase. It's true too. When you compare yourself to other that you deem "better", you kill your self-esteem, your joy, etc. To put yourself down in the sight of others is a disrespect to yourself and does not bring the other person up. Comparison of looks, skill, and related topics does not help anyone.

When I joined color guard during my freshman year, there was a junior named Kaleigh who honestly scared me at first (she made my friend cry upon first meeting too). Kaleigh was strict, hardworking, and an intense person. She was tiny in size, but could intimidate so easily. Soon enough, she unexpectedly became a mentor to me. She taught me new skills, offered a never-ending supply of constructive criticism, and gave me the tough love that allowed me to develop better skills. She not only guided me in color guard, but shared her thoughts and experiences on abstract concepts and profound ideas. Kaleigh was not only an older friend, but a source of learning. 

Though she wasn't the most skilled in dance (which I actually helped her out with), she had power in her moves and was especially good at rifle. Kaleigh had good technique. She learned well and could execute. I was surprised when during my sophomore year when she told me of her doubts in her ability. It was her senior year, and of course, there was a senior student appointed as the guard captain. It wasn't Kaleigh, and though she was not bitter, she felt as if she were lesser than the leader. Our guard captain was the opposite of Kaleigh, with a relaxed attitude and a moderate flow instead of Kaleigh's sharp power and precision. On a rainy night, after driving around town and getting snacks, Kaleigh and I were chilling in my room when she told me that she just felt inadequate in color guard. She then proceeded to compare herself to the leader. She said the guard leader (her peer) was liked a lot more by the coach, was more graceful, etc. It pained me to hear how much these thoughts burdened her. 

In response, I told her "You're not lacking in skill, and you're not without talent. Kaleigh, you're hardworking and incredibly skilled. Think of it this way, you two are like different colors. Sure our coach likes one color more, due to her own personal taste, but that does not make the other without brilliance. You simply can't compare the two. Both are beautiful and both are just different. Favor shows opinion, not fact. There just can't be a better one."

Though it is tough, I beg you not to compare yourself to anyone else. Don't put yourself down or long to be that person, because you have so many irreplaceable qualities with their own brilliance. You are a masterpiece. If you don't possess what's declared favorable by society or peers, you are not lacking. In fact, there are things that are unique about you, and people will and do appreciate them. In their eras, Vincent van Gogh and James Abbott McNeill Whistler were mocked and disrespected because what they had to offer didn't conform to the popular taste. Their works were magnificent and lived on. In terms of value, it doesn't matter what anyone else has, because it's just not related to what you have. The qualities you have are a treasure, so treat them as such.